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Writer's pictureJane Chinenye

"Can We Stop Deceiving Ourselves?" – Activist Rinu Oduala Sparks Debate on Exes and Boundaries in Relationships


Rinu Oduala, a prominent Nigerian activist and social commentator, has once again ignited conversation on social media with her latest thought-provoking post.

Known for her outspokenness and fearless approach to sensitive topics, Rinu took to her Twitter account, @SavvyRinu, to address the delicate matter of maintaining friendships with former romantic or sexual partners while in a current relationship.


Her tweet read, “Your former sex partners can't be your current friends or even your best friends if you are in a relationship.


Can we stop deceiving ourselves this year??”


This statement, succinct yet impactful, immediately struck a chord with many and stirred up heated debates online.


For some, Rinu’s assertion resonated as a hard truth that many are reluctant to confront.


They argued that maintaining close ties with ex-partners creates unnecessary tension and could jeopardize trust in a relationship.


Supporters of her view pointed out that while maturity and understanding are important, certain boundaries must be established to maintain harmony in a new romantic connection.


On the other hand, critics of Rinu’s statement challenged the notion that friendships with exes are inherently problematic.


They argued that relationships evolve and that it is possible to transition from lovers to platonic friends without compromising the integrity of a new relationship.


For these individuals, trust and open communication are key, and blanket statements about cutting ties with ex-partners were seen as overly rigid and simplistic.


The debate didn’t stop at personal anecdotes and theoretical arguments.


Many users began to share their own experiences, shedding light on the complexities of navigating relationships with ex-partners.


Some recounted painful incidents where lingering ties to an ex had caused friction and even led to breakups.


Others shared stories of healthy friendships with former lovers, emphasizing the importance of setting clear boundaries and managing expectations.


One user wrote, “Rinu is right.


Why keep someone who used to have intimate access to you so close when you’ve moved on?


It’s like keeping a door slightly open for old flames to reignite.


Not worth it!”


Another, however, countered with, “Not every ex is a threat to your current relationship.


If the breakup was mutual and you’ve both moved on, why can’t you stay friends?


It all boils down to trust and maturity.”


This discourse highlights a broader societal conversation about boundaries, trust, and the shifting dynamics of modern relationships.


In a time where social media and instant messaging allow us to maintain connections with past partners more easily than ever, the question of whether to stay friends with an ex has become increasingly relevant.


Psychologists and relationship experts have long weighed in on the topic, with mixed opinions.


Some argue that maintaining contact with an ex can hinder emotional closure and prevent individuals from fully investing in their new relationships.


Others believe that, in certain cases, exes can provide valuable support and friendship, as long as both parties have genuinely moved on.


Rinu’s post, although brief, encapsulated the tension between these opposing viewpoints.


Her use of the phrase “stop deceiving ourselves” suggests a belief that many people hold onto the illusion of purely platonic friendships with exes while harboring unresolved feelings or risking unnecessary complications in their current relationships.


The phrase quickly became a talking point, with users dissecting what it means to be honest with oneself and one’s partner.


Beyond the personal implications, Rinu’s tweet also touched on societal and cultural attitudes toward relationships in Nigeria and beyond.


In a country where traditional values often clash with modern relationship dynamics, conversations about boundaries, fidelity, and trust are highly charged.


Her statement resonated with those who believe in upholding clear boundaries as a sign of respect for one’s partner, while also drawing criticism from individuals who advocate for more progressive views on relationship dynamics.


As the tweet continued to gain traction, some users directed their focus toward Rinu herself, commending her for consistently addressing societal issues with boldness and clarity.


Rinu, a vocal advocate for justice and accountability, has never shied away from speaking her mind, whether it’s on political matters, social injustices, or personal relationships.


Her ability to spark meaningful discussions has made her a respected figure among her followers, even as her opinions often provoke strong reactions.


In response to the overwhelming engagement with her tweet, Rinu later shared follow-up posts, engaging directly with her audience and encouraging further dialogue.


She clarified that her intention was not to dictate how people should manage their relationships but to challenge them to reflect on the potential risks and realities of keeping ex-partners as close friends.


This transparency only deepened the discussion, with many thanking her for opening up a topic that is often brushed aside or handled with discomfort.


As the online debate rages on, one thing is clear: Rinu Oduala has once again succeeded in drawing attention to an issue that resonates deeply with people from all walks of life.


Her thought-provoking tweet has encouraged individuals to examine their own relationships, question societal norms, and engage in honest conversations about trust, boundaries, and emotional intelligence.


In an era where relationships are constantly evolving, Rinu’s bold statement serves as a timely reminder of the importance of clarity and authenticity in our connections with others.


Whether one agrees with her stance or not, the dialogue she has sparked is a valuable step toward understanding the complexities of modern love and the role of honesty and boundaries in fostering healthy, lasting relationships.


Rinu’s influence as an activist and thought leader continues to grow, and her ability to address diverse issues with courage and conviction ensures that her voice will remain an important one in shaping the conversations that matter most.


As the year progresses, her call to “stop deceiving ourselves” will undoubtedly remain a powerful reminder to prioritize honesty, self-awareness, and mutual respect in all our relationships.


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